Change

It's been a long time since I've done and a lot has changed, I've changed. No one ever tells you about how over the years, you'll change. Maybe they do and I wasn't paying attention because I didn't want to change. But change is good. We must grow and evolve. 

I'm a college student now. I don't think I like it. I think im ready to actually live my life, have a home and do all the things you do as a full adult. College is hard for me because of my depression and anxiety. Some days it's really hard to get out of bed or even do work. I keep trying though. I wont give up. No matter how many times i fail or crash and burn. I know that in time, I can do this. Only I can do this. It's my life and therefore my adventure. 

I'm 21 now and I have a wonderful boyfriend. In a way everything is good. 

Blessed Be.



M.

Summers End :(

Welp, summer is coming to a close and honestly i cant really remember it. My days kind of blurred together. My school year ended well i suppose even though i ended up losing people i wasnt expecting to lose. But beyond that massive sadness and the empty whole in chess that will never be filled. Ever. My senior year of high school is starting and i guess im ready for it. BLAH!!! Its so ridiculous that i have to go through this. I see no point in it. Everyone i know who was gonna make this year amazingly awesome is gone. All if them. So this year is going to be an unnecessary bore. Once again BLAHH!!! Oh well. I gotta go through this stupidity then enter a new stupidity called college. Ugghhh. So not up for it but whatevs. Life goes on and i refuse to let them take me alive. What up MCR reference. Lol. 

Until Next Time,

M.

Healthier (//^_^)

Hi!! Well it seems as though I'm getting better at this blogging thing. Anyways, my life has been... well..... wonky. i did celebrate Valentines Day and it went well, in a slightly unexpected kind of way. the person  for whom i spent Valentines Day with is leaving this year AGAIN, and that is upsetting. but it's for the best i suppose. Beyond that I'm gonna try to be healthier. (Keona, I know your reading this and i can practically feel the smile on your face) everything i have just feels unnatural and overly processed. I wish to get back to nature. That's one of the reason i took up archery; It was also to become stronger but that's a different story. My junior year of high school is almost over. i hate it. I want My friends to stay. I want HIM to stay (Don't you dare ask me any questions about HIM because i will not answer them. I'm talking to you Keona and LaToya and whoever else may be reading this.) but like i said its for the best. although he and I are just friends, okay more than that, he's my best friend and its messed up that he has to leave. I'm gonna try not to go back to that, although i have a feeling that i will. Oh well. School is School, and my life in the so called "real world" is about to begin and I'm gonna have forever right in front of me. one thing i don't understand is how people expect me to plan for forever. My future is uncertain and i don't want to make any "Forever" decisions right now. At least not unless i am 100% sure about it. I just want to make sure that it's what i want and not what someone else wants (MOM).  In the end everything will be okay, if it's not okay then it's not the end.

Until Next Time,

M.

Middle

Well, its the middle of the year and my entire life has been on hold for the past six moths (since like maybe the second week of school) but i wont get into that. but i am gonna get into the fact that my curly girl- ness has gotten beautifly out of control. ummm i finally celebrated valentines day for the first time in years. it was a shock to me when i realized what i was doing. i would name the person that im blaming but im gonna save the for later. on a different note spring is almost here and i cant wait. i am sooo over this winter weather. its way to cold and i really wanna grow some plants. my mom just got me some new seeds. anyways thats about it soo i guess i'll talk to ya later.

Until Next Time

M.

Little girl

"There once was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good
She was very, very good,
But when she was bad,
She was horrid."

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Curly Girl

Well its new years eve and i have one thing to say... I'm a Curl Girl, SO DEAL WITH IT!!! As the year goes in i will be transforming my blog into something different than it has been for the past year or so. I am embracing my curly hair, and who i am. I am now a junior in high school. I love my friends and who i am becoming. Its gonna be difficult to show off my Curly-ness in school, but i have to try my best. My hair is an extension of me. And although some may not support me in the way in which i would like (MOTHER!!!) but its not about them, its about me and my Curly adventure. So this is my last post for 2012 and the beginning of my adventure for 2013. See you next year! ;)

With Love,

M.

Birthday Month!!!

Ok sooo its mu birthday month and on the 29th of october i will finally be sixteen. It feels a little scary but ill deal with it.

I realized that i need a schedule because i want to blog more. Sounds weird finally saying it but i do. Sooo i will try to blog every friday after school. This everyday thing is obviously not working out. Also i seem to have more time on my hands than i would have thought. Usually i say that i am really busy but im not. Just dont want to be bothered. But now im bored and wish to be bothered (wow that sounds odd) lol well anyways this year has been good so far. I run an anime club now.

My friend told me that i should be more open to others and talk more so ill take their advice and do so.

Alrighty then im sleepy so ill hopefully see you on friday

Until Next Time

M.